Written by Andy | 06 July 2011

EKavet/FlickrUsing the momentum of his 5th straight title at Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest on the 4th of July, the International Federations of Competitive Eating's top ranked eater has inked a 12-step agreement with Overeaters Anonymous (OA).

"We are happy to have someone of Joey's minor celebrity status on board which will enable us to receive a little bit of publicity," said Chestnut's program sponsor, Mark. "Someone that's kind of famous, like Joey, will provide us an avenue to let others know that it's not normal to eat nine-thousand calories worth of meat by-products, seasoning and fat, wrapped in some sort of casing, plus buns, in less than ten minutes. It's actually really, really stupid."

Chestnut is the model of compulsive eating, says Mark, putting way too much time, effort and planning into his food binges. Sometimes even fasting for days while drinking gallons of water or milk to stretch out his stomach just to create more room to eat as many hot dogs, hamburgers or macaroni and cheese as possible.

"He even takes pleasure in, and loves the attention he receives from eating all those hot dogs. Anyone that has monitored Joey's behavior can clearly see he is a diseased individual. Or a total dimwit. It's the only way to explain the time he consumed seventy-eight matzoh balls in eight minutes."

Once he completes the OA program, Chestnut vows to one day live by a sensible written plan of eating that would call for 9-and-a-half pounds of tempura-fried asparagus only when it provides his body with nutritional replenishment.

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