Crumbling Big 12 Makes Membership Offer To Several Trade Schools

Written by Andy | 09 June 2010

Fearing the conference could be nearing its last days, the Big 12 has extended membership offers to several trade schools throughout the Midwest in a last ditch attempt to stay intact. Conference commissioner Dan Beebe admits he knows very little about these potential members, but is pretty sure each would be a valuable asset to the conference.

"I can't say I've even heard of some of these schools," said Beebe, "but I did take a quick look at some of the school brochures. Gotta say I really liked the Graphic Design Institute of Western Iowa. From some of the stuff I saw, I bet they could design a pretty cool logo, which should go a long way in selling some merchandise or something."

"Online University of the Missouri River will make a great fit as well," Beebe continued. "Since all of their programs utilize distance learning, whether online or through some other technology, they have students all over the place. That should really help attendance figures when they're the visiting team."

Happy Rose Beauty School in Kansas City may also receive an invite, but conference officials worry Kansas and Kansas State may have already saturated that television market.

Real Fake Sports got some help from Drew Weisholtz for this post. Drew is a comedy writer and stand-up comedian with the unfortunate albatross of rooting for Rutgers basketball. He's been making people laugh nearly as long as the Scarlet Knights' NCAA tournament drought. You can reach him This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

Around the Web:
Are we in the final countdown of the Big 12? (Rivals.com)
Nebraska to join Big Ten, so what's Notre Dame's status? (Chicago Breaking Sports)
Nebraska Set to Join Big Ten (Maize and Blue Nation)