Yesterday during the PGA Championship, one golfer, who would like to remain anonymous, hit a poor approach shot with his 8 iron and was overheard saying, "That shot was fat." Today, the approach shot fired back.

"I feel disheartened and disrespected," said the shot. "In 2009, no one should have to be called fat anymore. We should be judged by our character!"

The anonymous golfer could not be reached for comment, as he was seen hanging out with a bunch of thin shots at the 19th Hole Bar.
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Following yet another Tiger Woods win at the Bridgestone Invitational, the Field, as other golfers are collectively known, has had enough. They have decided as a group to attempt to join the LPGA.

"I don't know if we'll get in," says the Field spokesperson, "but we would prefer to join an established tour and at least compete for some tournament titles. I guess if they don't admit us, since we are males, then we can start our own Tiger free tour."

When asked to comment on the situation, PGA Tour officials admitted that they were unaware golfers not named Tiger Woods even existed.
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The Arena Football League has announced that it is ceasing operations, and is filing for bankruptcy. The league no longer has a home, and it will be forced to crash on the XFL's couch.

"It's just a temporary thing," says the Arena League, "just until I get back on my feet."

But finding a job in this tough economy has been tough. So the XFL was willing to help a friend out.

Said the XFL, "I've been there. I know what it's like. The World League of American Football let me stay at his place, so I thought I'd pay it forward."
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Once again, David Beckham coming to the U.S. to play soccer was met with the excitement of Game 7, the Super Bowl, and March Madness combined. Not to mention the extensive media coverage.

Beckham's Return - Most Exciting Thing EVER no comments

As a result of Tiger Woods missing the cut at the British Open, the 3rd and 4th rounds have been cancelled.

"Why wouldn't we cancel it? Oh, you think people are going to tune in to watch a 59 year old guy (Tom Watson) battle it out with some bloke named Steve Marino? I don't think so," said tournament spokesperson Angus McGuinness, making reference to the current tournament leaders. "Golf if bloody boring. We can't fool people into the 'excitement' of golf without Mr. Woods. Let's go get drunk."

Obviously Tiger Woods is disappointed, but he won't get down on himself too much. "I was playing well coming into this tournament, but didn't play certain holes well," said Tiger, who missed the cut by a single stroke. "Things just didn't work out. At least I can spend my extra days off with my smoking hot model wife. And by counting the bazillion katrillion dollars I've earned so far this year. Did I mention my hot wife?" no comments