Nets Trade Third Overall Pick For Honda CR-V

Written by Andy | 19 May 2010

Clearly disappointed by not getting the #1 overall pick during this year's NBA Draft Lottery, the New Jersey Nets announced they have traded the third overall pick for a crossover SUV by Honda. Nets billionaire owner Mikhail Prokhhorov says the #3 pick is a total lemon, forcing the team to get anything of value and acquire the reliable, yet versatile CR-V.

"John Wall and Evan Turner will surely be off the board by the time we're selecting," said a let down Prokorov. "But at least now we have a beautiful pre-owned Honda CR-V, with it's seventy-three cubic feet of cargo capacity and iPod interface. DeMarcus Cousins and Derek Favors can't say they have that."

Fans are upset that a billionaire owner would surrender a high draft pick and receive only a $26,000 automobile in return.

"I didn't become nauseatingly rich by following the norm and making standard, customary decisions," replied Prokhorov. "In time, our fans will love the CR-V's surprising power and exemplary handling. It's great in traffic."

In fact, Nets season ticket holders will be able to take turns driving the team's new acquisition to and from home games.

"With the spacious passenger areas, we should be able to get as many as 5 or even 6 people to our games next year."

Real Fake Sports had some help from Drew Weisholtz on this one. Drew is a comedy writer and stand-up comedian with the unfortunate albatross of rooting for Rutgers basketball. He's been making people laugh nearly as long as the Scarlet Knights' NCAA tournament drought. You can reach him here.

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