With negotiations breaking down between NBA officials and the league, it appears that a lockout of the officials is imminent. As a result, NBA games for the upcoming season will be officiated by those three guys in the front row.

"This is awesome!" said Mike, one of the three guys in the front row. "I can do a better job that those old geezers anyway. How hard is it to not call fouls or traveling? We always knew we were better than the stiffs the league threw out there, and now we'll have a chance to prove it."

Should negotiations resume, allowing the regular officials to work again, the league has decided to let those three guys in the front row coach a game every now and then. As Mike put it, "We can coach just as well as those guys too. How hard is it to tell your star player to go one on one?"
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Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame speech will be remembered by many. Whether you liked it or thought he was arrogant, you will remember it. Check out the entire video at Not Qualified to Comment.

Here are some of the highlights of the evening:

*Prior to Jordan taking the stage, Sam Bowie was inexplicably called up first. He left prematurely due to some type of lower body injury.

*Craig Ehlo made a desperate attempt at distracting Jordan during his speech. Jordan was able to hang in the air for what seemed like 10 minutes and was able to continue speaking.

*During the middle of the speech, Jordan left the stage, seemingly during the height of the evening. Hakeem Olajumon and Clyde Drexler filled the dead time for a couple of minutes. Jordan returned, and capped off the speech quite nicely.

*Bryon Russell attempted to remove Jordan from the podium, but was gently pushed aside.

*A bunch of other stuff happened at the end, but we won't touch on that at all.
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Following their rough opening week in college football, the ACC has decided to cancel the rest of the season. They will focus their energy and efforts on basketball instead.

"We knew we were bad, but not this bad," said a conference spokesperson. "Losing to TWO I-AA teams is not a good way for our conference to start the season. Add in the beat down some other schools took, we think we should just turn our attention to college basketball. We're much better at that sport anyway."
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At the conclusion of today's Rick Pitino press conference, Pitino promised vengeance on anyone who dares report on his next scandal.

"I hate what the media did with this story," said Pitino. "Who cares what I did? No one was hurt until the big, bad media kept talking about it. But I promise you this, when I act unethically or break the law in the future, I promise you that I will get revenge. All I ask from Louisville Cardinal fans is to look away as I am getting revenge, because things could get ugly. Oh, and support the top 10 recruits I'm still going to bring in. And always remember that basketball games, more importantly winning a high percentage of basketball games, is, and should always be, the only thing talked about in Louisville. Well, maybe you could include the economy or politics or something. But basketball should be way up there."

Well said.
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In a shocking move, the Minnesota Timberwolves have announced that they are moving to Spain in a last ditch attempt to acquire Ricky Rubio. This news comes on the heels of reports that Rubio has already signed with Real Barcelona.

"We're going to do everything we can to nullify the Real Barcelona contract," said Timberwolves President David Kahn. "Hopefully Ricky will see how much he means to us when we move our entire organization to Madrid or Barcelona or some other Spanish town. I've never been there, so those are the only two I know."

One of Rubio's potential teammates, Al Jefferson, is not very happy about the move.

"Why are we moving to Spain? Why don't we just move to California, or Florida, or Ohio or some other state one of our players is from. This is ridiculous!"

We could not reach Kevin Love for comment, but I'm sure he'll be all over it on Twitter.
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With the signing of head coach John Calipari, a great deal of excitement was created around Kentucky basketball. He has a history of recruiting great players that are able to focus on basketball, while not letting NCAA rules, academics or pursuing a degree get in the way. (SLAM Online) -- (Sparty and Friends)

The team will have high expectations, and the fans are looking forward to (vacating) several Final Fours under the eye of Calipari. They don't care about these previous "allegations" that probably weren't even true anyway. So what if he jumped ship again. (A Sea of Blue)


"I can't wait to advance to 4 or 5 Final Fours under Coach Calipari," said Rocky Durango, a lifelong Wildcats fan. "He is such a great coach. I just can't believe everyone is so hard on him for leaving Memphis. He is Kentucky's coach now, so leave him alone. Of course none of the Final Fours he will lead us to will officially count once the NCAA violations are discovered and wins are taken away, but it will still be fun to watch."

LuLu Yates, a Kentucky basketball fan since 1962, feels the same way.

"Sports are about fun and competition, not trophies," said LuLu. "We don't care about stuff like that here. So what if the team wins 3 NCAA championships and has them taken away. We live in the past at Kentucky, so we'll always remember the good times."
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Typically it's players, coaches and contributors to the game of basketball that are inducted into the Hall of Fame. This time, it will be Quentin Richardson's expiring contract, as it has been traded for a 4TH! time this off season. (Fanhouse) -- (Barkley's Mouth) -- (Larry Brown Sports)

His contract is being inducted because the four trades have triggered a little known clause in the bylaws of the Basketball Hall of Fame.

"This is very exciting for my contract," said Richardson. "I may not be going into the Hall of Fame, but my contract is. Since it wouldn't have existed without me, I guess that makes me totally responsible for it's career. That is pretty cool."

Theo Ratliff's expiring contract nearly preceded Q's, but was not traded enough times in the same off season to qualify for induction.
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Lamar Odom's love of candy has been well documented. But he's taking it to a whole new level. The Lakers Odom plans on missing the 2009-10 season in a quest to find Candyland.

"Hey, people laughed at Columbus when he said the world was round," noted Odom, "so I'm not going to let it get me down. When I find the Peppermint Forest, the Snowflake Lake or the Lollipop Woods, everyone will change their tune."

No word yet if King Kandy or Lord Licorice would be willing lead Odom's team of explorers.
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The Minnesota Timberwolves have been looking for a head coach since the firing of Kevin McHale. Potential candidates included current ESPN analyst Mark Jackson, Lakers assistant Kurt Rambis, and Rockets assistant Elston Turner. Some reports say that the search has been put on hold with Timberwolves president David Kahn traveling to Spain, working on Ricky Rubio's buyout. Well, the search has been put on hold permanently. The T-wolves will play without a coach.

"It is an unorthodox move," says Kahn, "but we feel that it is in the best interests of our team right now. Not sure if you noticed this or not, be we don't really look like we know what the hell is going on here anyway. What was our record last year with a coach....24-58? We should be able to win 24 games without one. Plus we need to save some cash with Rubio's buyout. Hell, we're even asking players to Twitter more to get more ticket sales." no comments