Written by Andy | 04 February 2011

Beatrice Murch/FlickrAccording to a joint report issued by the American Dip Council and the Department of Salty Snacks, the nation's guacamole and tortilla chip reserves could be exhausted by Sunday.

"Shoppers are flocking to places like Sam's Club and Costco to buy these items in bulk," said Seth Halton, Chairman of the joint committee that published the report. "Americans seem to be buying tons of guacamole and tortilla chips in preparation for what one would assume to be a nationwide social event."

"Given consumer purchasing patterns over the past week," said Halton, reading from the report, "it is highly unlikely avocado and tomato farmers have yielded enough crop to keep guacamole on supermarket and convenience store shelves."

"Furthermore, manufacturers of tortilla chips cannot produce or deliver enough product to keep up with this heightened demand," Halton continued. "Not even with help from the National Guard."

"Americans are fat," the report concluded.

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