With Michael Vick being released from prison, tons of football analysts have been speculating on the team he will sign with. From that speculation, all we know is this: Michael Vick might sign with any NFL team, the UFL, the Canadian League, Arena Football 2, and somehow the USFL.

"We're not sure what he'll do," said a member of Vick's camp, "but with interest from like 60 teams, it's tough to narrow it down."

Vick has been working out hard, and his return to professional football will surely be the greatest spectacle in North American sporting history.
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More bad news out of the Motor City on the heels of Buick dropping its PGA Sponsorships. The city of Detroit has decided to drop its association with the Lions.

"It's disappointing," says Mark Owens, a fan of the team. "But I guess we can still root for them anyway, even if they aren't the DETROIT Lions anymore."

Early reports indicate that the Lions may now be co-sponsored by Mike's Collision Repair and Big Tony's Pizza.
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Brett Favre, we the media, LOVE YOU!! First posted at Lombardi Ave.

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America rejoice! The Brett Favre saga is now over. At least until September or maybe October. But along with this great news, comes some bad. Due to losing one of the major stories they've been covering, ESPN has been forced to lay off 25% of its employees.

"It's a sad day," says ABC Sports and ESPN president George W. Bodenheimer. "We really didn't want it to come to this, but with today's economy and limited stories to report, the Worldwide Leader had to make some cuts. There is no bright side for those employees that have lost their jobs. For the American sports fan, however, they have much to look forward to. Without the Favre story, we are proud to announce that we will now be devoting even more coverage to the Red Sox, the Yankees, the Cubs, Michael Vick, Lebron James and Plaxico Burress." no comments

With their head coach, Bobby Bowden, chasing Joe Paterno for most career victories, along with the possiblity of having some wins taken away, the Florida State football team is not taking any chances. To avoid another cheating scandal, athletes will no longer be allowed to attend class.

"It's a drastic move, I know," says Bowden, "but to keep these players from their daggum cheating, the best thing we know to do at Florida State is to keep them out of class entirely. It you're not in class, you can't cheat can you?"

Florida State Athletic Director Randy Spetman added, "We kind of had this policy already, but it just wasn't written down. So what we did was make it a formal, written policy. Athletes will no longer be allowed to attend class. It's best for our entire program at this time."

Surprisingly Florida State is not the only school with this policy. It has been in place at USC, Texas, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Ohio State, Michigan, West Virginia, Miami and the entire SEC for some time.

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Roger Goodell plans on suspending the Denver Broncos troubled receiver Brandon Marshall just to get it over with. Marshall reported to camp just because he said he had to, and he continually makes it known that he wants his way out of Denver.

"He's a trouble maker," says Goodell, "a talented athlete, but a trouble maker. Brandon's been arrested, I don't know how many times, and never went to jail. His history dictates that he is bound to do something stupid sooner or later, so since I have some free time now, I'm just going to suspend him to get it over with."
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Reports have surfaced that Brett Favre is conflicted over signing with the Vikings or remaining retired. That is not the only thing Favre is conflicted with. He wants to know, is he more of a d-bag, or an ass clown?

"I know it's been a little ridiculous lately, will I sign, won't I sign?" said Favre, in between takes of his Sears commercial. "But if I'm going to come back, I need to know, am I a d-bag or an ass clown? I just need a little time to think about things."

We tried to ask on Viking fan what his thoughts were on Favre, but unfortunately, this was his reaction.
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Here are some of the early reviews of VH1's The T.O. Show. Get your popcorn ready:


"I love me some T.O." - Terrell Owens

"T.O. shows us the real T.O." - Terrell Owens

"WHO CAN MAKE A REALITY SHOW?? I CAN!!" - Terrell Owens

"I am proud to be the first disease free reality star on VH1. That is if you don't count douche bag-itis and locker room cancer." - Terrell Owens

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