Following the beanball in the 9th inning last night thrown by Guillermo Mota, Prince Fielder allegedly attempted to get into the clubhouse. He would most likely have attacked Mota, but thankfully, he attacked the post-game spread instead. And Fielder is a vegetarian, so it probably consisted of donuts, pies, and vegetables...covered in ranch dressing.
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At the MLB trade deadline, the Detroit Tigers aquired pitcher Jarrod Washburn, hoping to fill a hole in their rotation, pushing them toward a division championship. Unfortunately, they lost to the Indians 6 - 5 in extra innings, make the trade a complete bust.

"We messed up on that one," said Tiger manager Jim Leyland, in between packs of cigarettes. "What the hell!?! I thought trades were supposed to make us better, not worse. Oh well, I guess. Best of luck to the Twins and White Sox as they battle it out."

Washburn was upset that he had been blamed for the sudden collapse of the Tigers, as he was not even in the line-up vs. Cleveland.
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You can always count on Tim McCarver to add some insight. Here is a little more (fake) analysis from Tim on MLB's trade deadline stories.

*Roy Halladay not being traded: "Halladay wasn't traded, so he can still pitch for the Blue Jays."

*Jarrod Washburn to the Tigers: "Washburn is a left-handed pitcher, and he will still be left-handed when he gets to Detroit."

*Nick Johnson to the Marlins: "It's hot in Florida, and the Marlins play in Florida. Nick will have to get used to playing for the Marlins when it is hot in Florida."

*Jerry Hairston, Jr. to the Yankees: "Jerry Hairston, Jr. has the same name as his father."

*Victor Martinez to the Red Sox: "Martinez is no longer a Cleveland Indian. He plays for the Red Sox now.
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We'll stop piling on after this. Maybe...... Saw it on Alana G and liked it so much, thought we'd post it ourselves. Enjoy!


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So Big Papi and Manny Ramirez testing positive for performance enhancing drugs in 2003. (I know, I know. I was shocked too.) Since stuff that happened 6 years ago should DOMINATE the news, here you go:

*David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, Blood-Soaked Sock On 2003 Steroid List (Deadspin)

*Ortiz, Sponsors On ‘03 Positive Test: “Hmmrphm” (SPORTS by BROOKS)

*Big Papi On PED Users – A Look Back (Was Watching)

*Breaking News: A Man Nicknamed "Big Papi" Does Drugs (You Are Hated)

*David Ortiz Injected His Ass With Something Other Than Chili Cheese Dogs (Busted Coverage)

*L O Frickin' L (High and Tight)

*David Ortiz Steroid Endorsement Deal (Sports Tsar) no comments

That sound you hear is Yankee fans laughing across America. That other sound you hear is the Sports Guy continually banging his head into a wall.



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Following their trade of Cliff Lee, one of the games best pitchers, the Cleveland Indians front office has admitted to fans that they stopped caring after the trade of C.C. Sabathia last year.

"Anyone can see that we aren't very good," said GM Mark Shapiro. "So we took the Pittsburgh Pirates approach and traded one of our best players. Again. We'll probably trade Victor Martinez too. We are looking to the future. WAY into the future. I just hope that we have some fans left in 2012 when we are competitive again."
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Recent reports have surfaced that Bud Selig is considering reinstating Pete Rose from his lifetime ban, a move that many feel would be a mistake. However, Rose really likes his chances this time, and is laying 3-to-1 odds for anyone that would like to bet against reinstatement.

"It's been brought up so many times." says Rose, "It's just that this time it feels different. If anyone is dumb enough to bet against me, I'll lay 3-to-1 odds in their favor. Bet $1000 and I'll put up $3000. This is going to be great. I'm going to get reinstated, and clean up doing it."

Early reports from MLB offices have indicated that Rose will likely hurt his chances for reinstatement by taking bets.
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These tough economic times have made their way into professional sports. Several Major League Baseball GMs for "buying" franchises have been spotted at Wal-Mart, trying to find a good deal.

Ruben Amaro, Jr., the Phillies general manager, says that this trend is going to continue. "I mean teams are trying to save money. Just look at the Yankees. They can't even sell their cheap home plate seats for a paltry $1250. Take us for example. We can trade half of our minor league players for Roy Halladay, OR, we can go to Wal-Mart and pick up a couple of bargains. Like a pitcher with a torn rotator cuff for only $8.99, or maybe a shortstop with a pronounced limp for 5 bucks."

Some other popular Wal-Mart bargains include steroid free players (2 for $25) and anything and everything from the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Pirates Continue Trading Frenzy; Ship Stargell's Career and '91 NL East Title to Yankees no comments

No one thought it would ever happen, but due to an obscure rule put in place by former MLB commissioner Kennesaw Mountain Landis, the Washington Nationals have been mathematically eliminated from Major League Baseball. Said outfielder Adam Dunn, "I'm really disappointed. That a professional team can be mathematically eliminated from an entire league is just unthinkable." Early reports from Washington have indicated that the Nationals will attempt to join the AAA International League. "It's a tough league, but with a lot of work, and a little bit of luck, hopefully we can compete there, and get called up to the bigs again," stated manager Manny Acta. Attempts were unsuccessful in getting responses from National fans at what was inevitably their last home game, since both fans had left early to beat traffic. no comments